Sensing What Matters

What is it that matters, in this moment? What really, REALLY matters?

This time of year that’s a question that can feel a little extra relevant, and it’s a question mindfulness can help us explore more deeply. By paying attention, on purpose, and without judgment, to what's right here, right now, in mind, body and heart, we can begin to detect not just what's here, but also what matters.

The winter holiday season seems to emphasize the space between darkness and light, solitude and celebration -- and maybe, what matters most, and what doesn't.

Depending on our circumstances, big emotions can accompany the roller coaster of seasonal highs and lows. Those of us fortunate enough to greet winter with hope and joy may relish visions of eagerly awaited celebration and reunion with loved ones.

But what we're not always prepared for when anticipating plans for a seamless celebration are the moments that don't go as planned: The unpleasant disappointments, mishaps, or conflicts that muddy the waters of our "Perfect Holiday" vision.

Often, when life "interrupts" in this way, such that things that seem really important don't go the way they were "supposed to," disappointment can morph into frustration, irritation, or momentary outrage.

And if we were to act, in such a moment, on the question ‘What matters right now?’ the answer might take us on a less-than-mindful ride. The sting of a heated comment or a heart-sinking letdown can disguise itself as “the only thing that matters,” in a triggering, unguarded, reactive moment.

Here’s the thing: Mindfulness practice can ready us for these inevitable, ininvited times. With practice, we can learn to pause long enough between surprises and letdowns to transform these events into opportunities for real-time informal practice.

Mindfulness practice isn't only concerned with formal, quiet, meditation sitting (though that matters too). It’s about how practice enters and informs our daily interactions.

Naturally, our best intentions and highest values guide us most readily when things are happening in accordance with hopes, dreams, and plans. But when life tosses out its inevitable emotional curve-balls, how ready are we to take a breath, hit the brakes, and respond with the wisdom of a ‘higher-self’ perspective, rather than fight-flight-driven angst?

Leading each mindfulness practice with the questions 'What is my intention?' and ‘What really matters?’ can offer guidance that could come in handy when the next surprise calamity hits.

As 2022 winds down, consider incorporating a few small but empowering steps into your daily practice. Try beginning each mindfulness meditation practice -- whether 3 or 30 minutes -- with a check-in question that starts in your heart space, and finds its way to these words: “What is my intention with this practice? What is it that matters most to me, in this moment?”

If an answer feels illusive, try trusting the question to be enough.

To access a short exercise in reflecting on 'What Really Matters' during difficult times, click here.

May you know peace, health, and ease in the coming year.